not sure about life

So for the past few weeks i'm not sure if i'm happy, depressed, sad, angry....i just dont know anymore. I miss my sisters soooo much and i really want to see them. I know when i'm at school i act happy and everything, i just dont want to bother my friends with my stupid emotions that i can't control. they have enough to worry about with their own lives that they dont need my problems on top of it. I cry when i get home and i usually cry myself to sleep. and half the time i dont even know why i cry, i just do. half my problem is that i think to much, i always worry about things that i know i shouldn't worry about. i dont know whats wrong with me i just wish i could be happy so people will stop asking me if i'm ok. but i dont know what to do anymore...

Today is a winding road

well i think i'm going to use this from now on, i need a place to vent where nobody cares of what i say.

I'm so stressed right now, and i'm so confused with life. I dont know who to turn to and who i can talk to without anybody judging me. Even if they dont give advice or help, i just need to talk to somebody where they will actually listen, not change the subject and start talking about themselves like they couldn't care less of how i feel. Honestly with some of my friends i feel like i could kill myself and they wouldn't care. I feel like i'm just another person who hangs out with them and they only talk to me to be nice. Well you know what? If they weren't my "friends" i would feel better than them saying they are my friends and then have them go behind my back and start talking about me and saying shit about me. I dont know who are really my friends and who are just pretending.